First it was the horror of data roaming charges that stopped me texting home.
Then the time difference set in – when I am free to text, my friends and family are often asleep or busy.
And now? Well, now it’s a French conspiracy to cure me of my texting addiction altogether.
There are 65.7 million people living in this country and not one of them wants to text me.
The topsy-turvy way many French sentences are structured is a major handbrake for lazy learners like me.
For instance, you can say: “I gave the light sabre to Chewbacca,” [J’ai donné le lightsaber à Chewbacca] but it’s much cooler to say “I it to him gave,” [Je le lui ai donné ].
If you complain that Chewbacca won’t give it back to you, you have to do it Yoda-style: “He to me it give back will not,” [Il ne me le redonne pas].
Now you are speaking French.